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The day before I was scheduled to fly back to the U.S.A. and home (to my
Erika), the Meiers asked me to join them to attend a Lutheran Church in
Bamberg followed by a picnic in Bamberg's beautiful riverside park. Here
is an extract...
Mrs. Meier spoke up and said how she appreciated how I had taken care of
her Rebecca. I thought poor Rebecca; they’re acting like she’s some kind
of a kid, but she was sitting
 there smiling. She didn’t seem to mind. Then
Rebecca leaned over and kissed me on the check and quite frankly, I
couldn’t hold the tears back. I told them I needed to take a walk. I got
up and started walking down along the river and I heard Rebecca running
up. She ran alongside of me and said, “May I walk with you?” Well you
can’t exactly say ‘No’ although I really wanted to be alone at the moment.
So I told her she's always welcome whereupon she took my arm like we were
husband and wife and walked a little bit – maybe 30 seconds of quiet.
Then she said, “I wish I were Erika,”
I said, “Rebecca, you don’t even know Erika. You and Erika are completely
different people.”
“Am I as pretty as Erika?”
“Rebecca, please don’t do this, I’ve told you before you are an extremely
attractive girl, and that’s one of my big problems.”
“Then why don’t you like me?”
“I do like you.”
“I don’t mean as a sister, – why don’t you like me like you like Erika?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer this. So I stopped and I turned around so we
were facing one another, and peeked back at the Meiers. They were kind of
snuggled up against each other – romantic like - and not paying any
attention to us. Then I said, “Let’s imagine that you’re Erika. You’re
sitting at home in North Dakota. There’s a war going on and a lot of
American boys re getting killed. It’s not looking good. Then the boy that
you are expecting to marry goes into the Army. He leaves for Germany. You
don’t know if he’s going to come back or not, but you have faith because
that’s really all there is left: faith. So you write him a letter every
single day. You try not to tell him how much you miss him because you
don’t think that would be a good idea. You make the letter very nice so he
can enjoy the letter without getting homesick. It takes a very mature
person to do that.”
“You don’t think I could do that?”
“I’m not finished yet. Now how would you feel if you were that girl, and
then you found out that the boy you had expected to marry, that you are
waiting for so faithfully, had decided he was going to marry somebody
else?”
“I wouldn’t like that. What made Erika so sure that you were gong to get
married?”
I said, “By mutual agreement. You’re Jewish, you know how it is.
Frequently, it’s in our culture that we determine who we are going to
marry long before we’re old enough to marry. In the United States I can’t
get married until I’m 21. I’m not 21 yet.”
She was quiet for a bit, then she said, “Is it because that you think I’m
too young for you?” Gee, it isn’t going to stop.
“Rebecca, age has nothing to do with it. My mother married a man who was
10 years older after my father was shot.”
“I didn’t know your father was shot.”
“Oh, your dad didn’t tell you.”
“No.”
I said, “Well, I just don’t want to go into it, but I’ve had two step
fathers- one good one and one not so good one.”
“Which one was the good one?”
“The first one.”
After a pause she asked, “That’s the one who was 10 years older than your
mother?”
“Right. The second one didn’t marry my mother, he had another wife.”
She said, “You really have a mixed up life.”
“That’s absolutely right. And your father knows about it.”
She said, “But, you’d still be a good husband.”
“Rebecca, please!”
She turned away and said so softly I could barely hear her, “Ok. I’ve
really fallen in love with you, I think you’re the most wonderful man I’ve
ever met. But I respect you because, you’re being true to your girl, like
I would want my man to be true to me.”
We turned around and started walking back and I looked at Rebecca; she was
crying. We very slowly walked back to the Meiers. I felt kind of guilty
about walking off and leaving them like that and apologized. Mrs. Meiers
looked straight at Rebecca and said, “You know Rebecca, this is the first
time your dad and I have been alone on a picnic blanket since you were
born. We enjoyed it.” Rebecca smiled and said, “I’m glad, Mom.”
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